CHUelves

I now believe that I do not live alone in my CHU. After many unexplained occurrences in my little aluminum box, I am left with only one rational explanation - elves, or may I suggest 'CHUelve' as the species with genus 'elf'. Have you ever noticed the similarities in these two words - elves and evils? I have never actually seen one, but according to the interweb - this is what one looks like:

Notice the foul temperament and clear belligerent attitude. Would that explain the nasty, mean spirited activities taking place within the box. First, he/they ate all of my Christmas cookies and candy - finishing the peanut brittle last night (cleaning out the little gift box and placing it nicely inside a package headed home, strange...). Interestingly, the CHUelf appears to not like alcohol free Bitburger, 5 bottles from the original six pack remain in my refrigerator (same place the peanut brittle was stored) since September.

I have been, in reference to other blog postings, wrongly accused of hyperbole and/or exaggeration - but last night proves these little boogers are in my CHU messing with me. I awoke to find my sheet and blanket flipped perfectly, squarely on top of me. Instead of looking down on my green comforter as I peered out from under my covers, the sheet was on top and the blanket closest to me, not balled up from a nightmare induced wrestling match but instead appearing as if I had not moved all night in my sleep. In the past I have found my ear plugs seven feet away from my bed, next to each other. If I had lost them during the night, they might be under or next to my bed - but not seven feet away lying there on the floor as a pair. Last night's shenanigans with the covers proves it, along with the fact my ear plugs were perfectly placed on the book next to the bed and a new, one inch rug burn appeared on my upper left cheek.

I suspect they may have hidden inside of 'My Precious' but in some kind of hibernation or low level insurgent activities until last night when they unveiled a major new operation.

In comparison to this hellish situation, I have good news to report. If I survive the CHUelves campaign to destroy me, Sandy and I will be reunited almost a month earlier than my planned R&R. I am heading to the General Electric headquarters in Schenectady, NY to receive training, along with Iraqi Ministry of Electricity engineers, on the project management needed to implement the 56 generators the MoE is purchasing from GE. If all goes according to plan, Sandy will join me for a long weekend in Albany.

If I survive the battle for the CHU...